Monthly Archives: February 2012

hoodoo that voodoo

“I refuse all forms, all categories, all acts, all plans, all laws, all your castrating scents. I eat, breathe, drink, think, rejects, dress myself and move aphrodisiacally. I keep every cell of my being in a state of permanent excitation, excited and exciting at the same time, the zones traversing my being are genital and pregenital, erotic and criminal, black, ferocious, satanic.”

— Ghérasim Luca, The Passive Vampire

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….

We die to each other daily. What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same is a useful and convenient social convention which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember that at every meeting we are meeting a stranger.

– T. S. Eliot

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F O

Am sentimentul asta de goliciune. E sufocant. Ma doare ceva ce nu exista in mine. Imi vine constant sa plang. Izbucniri. Incep propozitii pe care nu le termin. Gandesc lucruri pe care nu le cunosc. Ma simt ca o idioata incapabila sa-si exprime vreun sentiment. Tot ascunsul asta pe dupa ceva ce nu exista ma elimina efectiv pe mine din propria mea viata. Ma simt bolnava, gata sa mor oricand, pregatita sa primesc orice pumn din orice directie. Si cu toate astea din cand in cand tresar si ma gandesc ca poate daca as accepta ca te iubesc pe tine, chiar asa cum esti, nici mai bun nici mai rau decat orice alt f. , ar salva vreo urma de umanitate din mine. Pentru ca azi ma simt asa si asta e un adevar despre mine. Invat sa respir regulat, sa-mi sterg ochii chiar inainte sa se ude si sa-i raspund lui Alexandru: da tata, vin imediat.

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